I’m not the kind of girl who writes in a journal often; however, there are times when it seems helpful. Journaling allows me to write down my feelings and emotions that I’m having and offers a release from being in my headspace, to dropping into my heart space.
On December 29, 2013, while on vacation and celebrating my birthday, I was having a lot of thoughts racing through my head and wanted to release them on paper.
I reached for the journal and began writing my concerns, having little or no attachment to what was being recorded in that moment.
What jumped off the paper at me were the three things that needed to change: my health, my business mindfulness, and my drinking!
Moving into the New Year, I realize my drinking consumed a lot of my time. Reflecting on my use of alcohol, I realize it’s the one thing that keeps me safe, numb, and often unconscious to living up to my dreams and desires, therefore keeping me playing small. It also has been a big factor in not remember or being fully in the present during events, celebrations, vacations, and day to day living.
I started to realize that this conscious decision to stop drinking was a much stronger desire than I had ever experienced before. A vision came to mind where I saw how releasing the drinking would change everything.
I thought, “I do want to grow and expand my business, I want to experience adventures, I want better health for vitality and longevity, and I especially want to be fully present for our first grandchild that is arriving in February of this year.”
How was I going to overcome this addiction?
It was my deep DESIRE that allowed me to take a leap of faith! It was my CHOICE to stop! And without any professional help or meetings, I put down the addiction.
My deep desire to stop came from a place of knowing that drinking is the one thing that I have total control over but yet allows it to interrupt the flow of my life (aka root to all my problems).
In that moment, I am ready to fully step into my life sober and play a bigger game.
Years of allowing the alcohol to consume my daily life, and continually finding myself in compromising situations and heading into unfavorable circumstances that once seemed to be my thrill seeking approach to life, to now knowing that this is no longer serving me.
And then this happens….. I am called out on my character and integrity as an “alcoholic” among other things ~ boom! Validation from the Universe. I knew it was time for change and no turning back.
I had no way of knowing what my life would look like without using alcohol but I just knew that the DESIRE to change was stronger than any excuse I could give.
I let go of the drinking, smoking, and over spending, along with the chaos, excuses and fears, to finding my new DRIVE for life.
Not being able to numb out or go unconscious, having to feel ALL of my feelings and emotions and seeking a life coach for support, I began working through all the emotions, uncovering and unraveling all the stories I have created over time.
Now living in sobriety I am fully aware of my actions when it comes to taking care of business and my health. I am learning to tap into my intuition. And I am filled with joy and happiness.
I was awakening to the desires as a young girl and knowing that I am here for greater things. My heart knows it’s time to find my DRIVE and to live from a place of passion and purpose.
And when I allowed my mind and heart to receive this message it was all very clear that my process was in the DRIVE where D stands for Desire followed by Receiving, Implementing, Visualizing, and Evolving which leads to Find Your Own DRIVE mentoring and 5 Steps to DRIVE program.
Releasing the alcohol, not knowing what my life would look like, was possible because I had a desire that is stronger than any excuse I could make.
I trusted that I would show up and be present even around those who drink knowing I chose to stop for me.
I’m reminded of my past where DESIRE leads me to some amazing accomplishments and experiences.
Here are a few that quickly come to mind:
- Desire to go to college and earn my teaching degree at the age of 30 while raising a family and working full time
- Desire to end relationships that become toxic and no longer served me
- Desire to stand in my power to receive all that I truly want
- Desire to learn to play golf in my forties
What I did KNOW for sure is that I had a DESIRE stronger than my fears (excuses) which allows for all of this to manifest and happen with joy and ease.
Isn’t it time to step out of your comfort zone and get into your DRIVEr’s seat and go for your desires?
You are just one thought away from making a change and living a life you truly desire.
What are you waiting for?